Need new perspective

Almost 2 weeks w/this Vertigo. the 1st week was the hardest, The room would spin so bad I would get so disoriented,forget what I was doing. I would end up going back to bed to sleep the med. off. It's an antihistamine so U get sleepy. I was dopey I couldn't function. I couldn't watch TV,read a book or work on my cards.This week I hadn't taken my med to go to a Dr's appt. the movement in the car going around curves was unsettling. On top of it the elevator came to a sudden jolt.That made me more dizzy. I had a bunch of sheets to fill out @ the Dr's office to update. I couldn't really see the fine print & I was tired.Plus the nerve pain in 2 fingers makes it hard for me to hold a pen Allen had to help me fill the papers out.
The heart dr. told me the echo showed some more heart weakness. My pumping capacity has dropped down from 5 to 10 %. that explains the fatigue I'm getting upon on exertion trying to get out to a Dr's appt.i get to the Dr's office already tired. I couldn't even look @my card mag's in my bag this week,just to wiped out. I have to remember to write e/thing down in detail to give to the Dr or I'm to tire to tell them.
This is really cutting into my c/making time. This is my busiest time of the year. I have d/lines to meet for C-mas cards for my GI's. I still don't know how long it takes cards to get to Kuwait.I still haven't heard from 2 of my contacts yet.
My c/making is my sanity valve. Not being able to work in there I don't have a chance to work out my frustrations. I'm having to look 2 what is a priority for that day. If I don't get up & cook 1st thing when I get up I don't have the energy to cook later on. I having to think who is the setting the d/lines. Is this one I'm putting on myself?
I've to come up w/ a comprise on my c-mas cards. Last year I did 2 s/ments of cards. 1 for them to send home to family etc. I have to get them in the mail by 1st of Nov., the latest for them to send back to the states. I can see I'm not going to be able to do that. I don't have anything ready for C-mas this year.
In order to make peace w/myself I decided I can only do 1 s/ment of cards. I decided to focus in on the ones to go to them for C-mas day. I have already been experimenting w/ w/color pencil wash for a b/ground. If I have to I may do an alcohol ink or a chalk b/ground that would be quicker. I want to do a deer card. I found a magnificent buck I printed off & have chalked them. I have some trees stamped off for the b/ground. I also want to use my l/house stamp Jan gave me for some state C-mas cards. I do have items collected ready to collage. I found C-mas brads on E-bay for cheap.It just getting the energy & time to work in ther.
I have finished up my fall cards. My VT cards went in the mail early this week. I just put the rest of the material for fall card away instead of getting frustrated on not making more of them. I did make some vintage T-giving cards the other nite I couldn't sleep. Polly's scraps ,she gave me came in handy both for my fall & T-giving cards.
I have been surfing the web look for free digi's to color. sitting still @ the computer is a way to deal w/ the dizziness. If I sit still, it doesn't spin on me.I found some vintage beehives I printed off for Jenny,my DIL. I also found some cute bee's I printed off. I put yellow Stickles on the wings. I distressed the c/stock w/ Ranger 's ink. I also used some of my core-nation choc. that I sanded down to use as b/ground for the inside.she like bees,her n/name is Jennie Bee.
On top of it Allen has had a rough week. His blood sugar crashed bad @ work this week. the same day we went to the heart dr. Going out to an appt. means I come home & crash in my recliner. I t takes all the energy & sleep I need to just get out the door.
They put him on a new med to better regulate his blood sugar. Plus he's having problems w/blurred vision & light sensitivity. to the point it's making it hard for him to see the screen @ work to program.He's trying to find out if any of his med's may be doing this,his allergy shots etc. It's been a rough week for both of us
My concern is what am I'm going to do as I lose more heart strength & my fatigue level goes up. I have a Puritan work ethic.I always focus in on s/thing to look for ward to get thru the bad times.My scared cow, "my cards" already been compromised. i thought I could deal w/ this when it happened but not really when I'm here & have to accept the fact my heart isn't going to bounce back this time. I go in for a 24 hr holster in early Nov. to look for irregular heart beats. A lot of PVC's showed up on my sleep study & ER visit but none on the EKG @ Dr's office.also will check the blood flow to my legs. How are Allen & I going to deal w/ this when I can't hire anyone to help since I don't get SSD???
+++ side is I have had 4 1/2 years they said I wouldn't had, I did get 100 cards sent out to my GI's in early Sept. I did get to have A RS class @ my house for stamping. I was on a Thur, nite, The mystery heart episode was on Sun. ER visit was Mon am.

Vertigo bad!!!!

Told this dizziness can last months. Get so dizzy I get disoriented. Won't be here for awhile
Ended up in ER Mon am w/it. Had gone in for Echo @ 7:30 am. Results wont be back til Mon. am appt. Fatigue levels gone sky high over the w/end. Having trouble concentrating & remembering things. Having to crash in recliner or bed. Too much fatigue upon exertion.
Not happy camper over this. Supposed to be 65F next Wed. Have been waiting to cool off enough to bake. No extra food in freezer,frig. or shelves for my Gluten free diet. Projects backed up on table.Busiest time of the year for me. Have no C-mas projects started. Was trying to finish up fall cards so I can get my C-mas cards ready for my GI's in the mail in 2 weeks.
Alot of dr. appts etc have sprung up. Have dr. appts the next 2 weeks. These trips are wiping me a lot for the rest of the day into the next.Supper is even harder for me to cook. Any movement makes e/thing go spinning around.Med. in the am takes along time to kick in. some days I'm really in the dumps all I do I'm in the recliner or bed & n/ing gets done.

Lung Dr's report

My follow up w/Dr Q was this,my asthma is an inflammatory process. My lungs may be thickening up which isn't good. I've never gotten up back on my feet from the 3rd asthma attack.
I'm to to turn up my 0-2 to 4 liters for a shower. 3 l's for me to move around the house to get moving again. I have had to much fatigue upon exertion & dizziness @ 2 l's. I stay on the Spirva& Xopenx. I'm hoping if it cools off enough I pace myselfI can eventually get off the Xopex again & just maintain it w/ My Symbcort.
I know I have lost ground .I can't walk around the house @nite w/ my 0-2 line w/o getting dizziness & have a hard time keeping my bedtime r/line in order. i 'm getting wiped out too easy trying to do r/line items. I forget what I'm doing when I get tired. I slept for almost 2 wks after coming home from the hospital. I haven't been able to read books this summer like last year. I only made it to the library 3 times &Allen had to take me. Last yr. I rode the Para transit almost every Wed. for 3 1/2 mos' to cool off in the library.
It's been a very frustrating time. My girls,3 are in denial in what is happening to me. No cards,phone calls to ask how I was doing. My son is the only one who will talk to me.