I'm Blue w/o You!

I had the blues real bad Sat. DH is gone to Conn. for 5 days to go to his Mom's surprise 8oth b-day party. My twins, g/kids were there along w/ Allen. I can't fly since I'm on 0-2. It took Allen 12 hrs to get there from El Paso to Conn.
I'm blessed I live in a good LDS ward here, El Paso 1st ward.Our compassionate service leader & her DH came Fri. am. Allen had gone to the store Thur. nite. & washed 2 loads of laundry before he left. He didn't have time to wash some dishes in the sink. W/ a w/c dishing washing is a wet job etc.
Sis. Flores brought me a big chicken salad for lunch & some fresh fruit etc. They cleaned up the dishes, clean 2 brms, mopped the kitchen hall & brm floors for us before they left.This will be a nice surprise for Allen when he gets home. He has to do these chores on top of working,running errands & taking me to Dr's appt.
It made me realize how quickly they could do those jobs vs how long it takes me now to do s/thing & how long I have to rest after ward
It also is making me realize how quickly my heart is taking me down in the last 6 mo's. I can't fool myself anymore, I really can't stay in this house if anything happened to Allen. I can no longer take care of myself w/ others to help me. this is a bitter pill to swallow since I used to be a very independent person. Even w/ my post-polio, I could figure some way to work around the problem. It might take me longer than a normal person, but I got it done
I wouldn't be here the last 5 yrs w/o Allen's help. He really is my lifeline. Like my son said I have spent 1/2 of my life w/ him. We have known each other for 33 trs.I can't turn on the TV,because it's s/thing we do together @ nite watching our favo shows together.
I have plenty of food in the frig. I just don't feel like eating or eating by myself.
Fluffy spent the a/noon sleeping on my chest in the recliner. If I got up she followed me around. I slept a lot Thur since I was really tired from Wed. I had to rake my laxative before Allen left since s/one has to be around if I have a fall etc. This really wipes me out. DH was up late packing his suitcase since he was waiting on clean clothes to dry.
Taco my chihuahua stayed out in the front yard all day. He wouldn't come in til night. It was like he was this "mean hombre" guarding the yard. Anyone walking by he would run & bark @ them. I was going to leave them out in the front yard for the nite. DH puts them out in the back yard @ nite to run around etc. I did that & they let me know real quick they weren't staying out @ ALL!!Boy once U rescue a dog U have a loyal & devoted companion for life. George came in & slept on his robe in my craft rm last nite when I was s/booking. He kept scratching on the door to come in.
I don't think I could get thru what I have to go thru w/o Allen being here. I don't think I could handle the stress w/ my heart if he suddenly died on me.I t would be like losing my best friend. I guess U just get used to the routine & the mannerisms of Ur partner
It made me realize just how much he really does for me each day.
plus the frustration of my Dr's office putting me on hold on the phone x 2 days & not refilling a pres. for me. Also it be 2 wks & no one knows where my paper work is for me to get my power chair. I spent 6 hrs there in the process of getting the paper work filled out. I'm trapped in the house & can't get to the Dr's office tio rattle some cages.

GRRRR!! Frustrated

I hate it when I have projects all in different stages spread out in my room. I feel like I'm not getting anything done. My left hand brace cracked around the joints & had to go in for repairs. It's a 2 day job since they have to recast the hand piece.No streasous work w/o it's support. My leg brace is sliiping more than before I took it in.GRRRR!!!!It's got to go back for more velcro. I can't walk w/o ,it makes the hip socket hurt too bad. My knee goes backwards ,the pain radiates into the hip socket. If I put the hip out,the pain in the socket will keep me awake @ nite.
I had to wait for Allen to type up a personal message for my cards this month. He forgot to pickup my handouts Sunday. He finally printed them both out last nite. They are going out in todays mail. I had my winter Jan. cards made @ 1st of the month,been sitting on my table.@ least my visiting teaching is done for the month.
I need to get in there & start making my Feb. V-tine cards for Iraq to out. I want to use my Scop-pal to try a gate fold when my brace comes back.
I need to finish up Forest's last 4 b-days. I haven't s/bk since late Nov. I still have a stash of supplies sitting on the dehumidifer that I need to put away after I finish the pages.
I have the twins C-mas project still to do. Last nite when I was putting stuff away on my table I found my stash of items to go w/photo's. I got to get the vacation pic's out to choose the pic's to go w/ paper. Then I found an envie of Allen's c/hood pic's I need to finish s/bk for him. That doesn't include my s/bk project of my LDS mission to Alaska I need to put titles on. I have 25 more pgs to do that to sitting in a corner.
It's quite cloudy out so tha explains why my joints are hurting so much. Winter hit us early this year,more pain in my hands & shoulders than previous years.

El Paso,friendiest town

The summer heat will bake U & cook U. The people are some of the friendiest I've met . I won't go back to DFW area. Won't be able to type for a few days because of muscle spasms in upper back. Wll write later on on our fun brk,trip & book review. Time of the yr L.Rm gets to hot to stay long on computor. Please be patient,my blog is my link to the o/side world.